Congratulations! You’ve survived what appeared to be one of the worst quarters in NU’s history. Whether the weather got you down or you simply just screwed up every single one of your classes, it’s time to pretend it never happened and get ready for spring…FINALLY. Yay warm weather! Getting in shape! Boosting your GPA! Haha…not. While spring quarter is definitely better than winter, chances are people have totally over-exaggerated its perks, and you’re probably way more optimistic about it than you should be. But no worries, we at Sherman Ave are here to get your head out of your ass with our guide to spring quarter reality check. Expectation: I can finally wear my shorts/dresses/skirts and NOT wear a parka! Reality: …at the end of May. That’s right, kiddo. You live in Chicagoland now. While spring may have officially started over spring break, we in Chicago are used to having spring weather for maybe a week near the end of may, before temps scamper toward 80 and your old dorm without AC nearly boils you alive. I would count on a few good weeks of switching between your Parka and another winter-ish coat that isn’t so heavy and be prepared for lots of rain, then flurries, then hail, then rain again throughout most of April. But hey, the end is near…sort of. Expectation: I’m going to get in shape for summer! Reality: You’ll go to the gym for, like, the first week of the quarter and then run along the lakefill once on a randomly nice day and your body will probably end up looking worse. Sorry to break it to you, but most likely your goal for winter was to get in shape for spring break and look how well you did (poorly). What makes you think you’ll be able to do it this quarter? The “nice weather”? Yeah, see the above section, ya boob. Enjoy trying to find machines at SPAC for a week and then becoming too bogged down with assignments/essays/midterms to even consider working out, just like last quarter. Expectation: I’m going to do better in my classes than last quarter! Reality: You’ll do almost exactly the same as last quarter, maybe a little better. Your quarter will start off great! You’ll be on top of your assignments, do actually decent on them and feel like you can actually accomplish your goals. Then May will roll around and all your friends from high school will be done with school and at home and you’ll lose complete focus and refuse to do any work because your other friends aren’t so why should you have to and UGH. Expectation: I’ll spend Dillo completely wasted, wandering around Evanston and seeing awesome music acts. Reality: I’ll spend Dillo completely wasted, wandering around Evanston and seeing mostly washed up musical acts. Kids, Dillo Day is the one day on which you can take every single thing people tell you about it to heart. We have a guide to Dillo, so I won’t go into too much detail, but most likely you’ll wake up Dillo morning like a 5 year old on Christmas, make some mimosas and go find free breakfast food. The morning will be filled with pregames on pregames and it will be the best day of your life. You’ll have so many stories to tell that you’re “pretty sure happened” and if they didn’t, it’s cool because no one really remembers what happens after 12 PM on Dillo anyway. So at least there’s something to look forward to. Does spring get you sprung (i.e., does it give you a boner?) Either way, apply to be a writer for Sherman Ave!
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